Who am I as an artist?
My Artistic Journey
My name is Calin Zainea, an emerging artist out of Montreal, Canada, originally from Bucharest, Romania. I am by training a biochemist, with no academic training in art. If anything, fine arts were my least favorite subject in school. Although, I must say I always had a passion for writing, which was never really cultivated by either parents or teachers.
My fine art journey started in August 2024, when I started drawing as an outlet for grief, after the loss of a child. It started as merely doodling, to keep my mind from wandering too far into darkness. It kept me grounded, focused, and connected to the world around me, it allowed me to see purpose, in a sense.
The doodles then started looking more and more like real art. The proportions started being correct, the details more crisp, the understanding of the face and human body started taking shape. I studied Youtube videos on the Loomis method, freehand drawing, shading, and slowly started working on technique. Although it is not my medium of choice, I've done the Inktober challenges, which improved creativity, and the self-confidence I needed as an artist. Portraits started to look crisp, I started taking more risks with my drawing, and I have been enjoying the process ever since.
The grief never went away, and it likely never will, but it has settled. down. The drawing passion never dropped, it stayed, like an old friend, always present, always ready to provide companionship.
In terms of mediums, I started on graphite, likely pretty common for new artists. It's accessible, safe, easy to use. I am taking a traditional approach to medium transitions: graphite to charcoal to Grisaille to paint. Right now I am working more and more with charcoal, I tried my hand at Grisaille painting (acrylic), and learning colour mixing, moving slowly in the painting world.
At the time of this writing, I am already doing 2 expositions here in Montreal, something that I never would have guessed, a couple years back. I am extremely greatful for my art journey so far, and for the opportunities I discovered along the way.
The latest thoughts I have about art are a bit mixed, I have to admit. The loss of my kid weighs on me still, and the art itself is comes into question sometimes. While I am thankful that I can heal through art and I can speak my thoughts through it, I am well aware that if I did not lose a kid, I wouldn't have started art, at least not at this point in my life. Although it is not the right way to think about it maybe, it almost feel transactional. It's almost as if I could trade it back, give back my art knowledge, and get back my kid.
My approach to art
I try my best not to overwhelm myself with too many resources. It is easy these days to get flooded with information, and as a beginner artist (or beginner in anything really), it is hard to know the good information from the bad. And even the good information, it is just too much of it. So, what do I do with all of this? I rent books from time to time, art books that cover various topics (figure drawings, portraits, art, animals). I skim over what I learned already elsewhere, I try to find the information relevant to me. And I follow along with the steps, so I make sure I understand. Many of my pieces are reproductions from art books. The video below, for example, is me reproducing a portrait from a book (and I'll one day remember which).
Youtube videos, pretty much the same thing, I look for topics, and I find someone that explains it in a way that works for me. Maybe it's someone with the same bacground, or the same struggles, who knows.. something that fits.